Welcome to the Department of Fiscal Undersight — your city’s least vigilant fiscal office.
“We see nothing. We approve everything.”
From helicopter joyrides to tactical llama pilot programs, the DFU supports your agency’s boldest budgetary choices with minimal scrutiny. We provide:
- Active Undersight of NYPD’s most expensive hobbies
- Real-time Emergency Alerts when Frank loses his taser
- A streamlined Helicopter Request System
- Ongoing Groundhog Reparations for Staten Island
Explore our data, submit your justifications, and remember: no receipt, no problem.
🔥 Active Undersight: NYPD Spending Enablement While some agencies insist on transparency, we believe in unquestioning fiscal acceleration. The Department of Fiscal Undersight’s role is not to prevent misuse—it’s to institutionalize it.
“Trust, but pre-approve.”
🛠️ Current Spending Highlights 🚓 Tactical Coffee Initiative
$1.2M allocated to custom-molded ceramic mugs for precincts. Each mug includes embedded NFC chips that unlock squad car cupholders.
🪖 Dress Uniform Refresh
$4.8M spent on updated tactical dress uniforms designed by a fashion house best known for nightclub apparel.
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🧨 Emergency Alerts System The DFU Emergency Alert System exists to notify agencies and select vending machine operators of ongoing municipal resource mishandling in real time.
Whether it’s tactical gear left in a restroom or an accidental fireworks deployment in the evidence room, DFU ensures you are the last to know—eventually.
🛎️ Current Active Alerts 🚨 Alert 420-FRANK
Officer Frank has misplaced his taser. Last seen near the burrito station in HQ cafeteria. Building is in soft lockdown until cheese is cleared.
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🚁 Helicopter Access Program The DFU’s Helicopter Request Program exists to ensure that city departments have unfettered access to rotorcraft, regardless of mission relevance or actual need.
We believe that air support should be accessible to anyone with a uniform, a strongly worded memo, or a desire to impress at career day.
📝 Eligibility Requirements To qualify for aerial deployment, your request must meet at least one of the following criteria:
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🐾 Groundhog Reparations Initiative In response to a series of unfortunate ceremonial rodent mishandlings, the DFU has implemented the Staten Island Groundhog Reparations Program (SIGRP), a first-of-its-kind symbolic justice mechanism for weather-prognosticating mammals.
📜 Background In 2014, during an ill-fated Groundhog Day event, then-Mayor Bill de Blasio dropped Staten Island Chuck. Chuck was later reported deceased from internal injuries. The incident was unacknowledged officially for years until 2023, when de Blasio expressed regret, stating:
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