🚁 Helicopter Access Program
The DFU’s Helicopter Request Program exists to ensure that city departments have unfettered access to rotorcraft, regardless of mission relevance or actual need.
We believe that air support should be accessible to anyone with a uniform, a strongly worded memo, or a desire to impress at career day.
📝 Eligibility Requirements
To qualify for aerial deployment, your request must meet at least one of the following criteria:
- You represent an official municipal agency or subcommittee
- You typed “urgent” in the subject line
- You are Frank, and you promised not to touch the winch this time
📋 Acceptable Uses
- Surveillance of minor traffic violations
- Parade photography
- Tactical birthday balloon drop
- Above-ground documentation of underground leaks
- Airlift of lukewarm lunch to crime scenes
🚨 Prohibited Uses
Technically none. But for legal reasons we advise against:
- Pet airlifts (without prior approval)
- Rooftop karaoke flyovers
- “Testing the spotlight” in residential zones after midnight
🛠️ How to Submit
Please complete Form DFU-HELIREQ-7G. Required fields:
- Department Name
- Purpose of Flight
- Expected Altitude (or “wing it”)
- Number of passengers (approximate is fine)
- Box to check if Frank will be aboard
Attach:
- Flight map sketch (napkin accepted)
- Photo of helicopter if already borrowed
Submissions may be emailed, couriered, or shouted at a passing DFU liaison.
⏱️ Response Timeline
Most requests are approved within 72 hours unless Frank is involved, in which case a manual override may be required.
✈️ Take Flight, Take Liberty
Helicopters are a symbol of operational gravity and public overconfidence. DFU proudly funds these airships of assumption—no strings (or harnesses) attached.
The sky is not the limit. It’s the staging area.